Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Ever so surreal and hair-raising, Donald John Trump has announced his candidacy for the presidency of the United States of America.
The blond-haired billionaire wants to believe in the impossible. He’s probably right, since he already has. Elected against all odds in 2016, the preposterous Republican wants to make a spectacular return to the White House.
” And I’m proud to be American […] Because there is no doubt that I love this land, God bless the United States. The music, utterly saccharine yet catchy, heralds the arrival of ” The Donald The crowd is cheering. The famous silhouette of Donald Trump, assisted by his wife Melania, enters City Hall in Mar-a-Lago. What a strange place this peninsula reserved for ghottas is, off the coast of Palm Beach, Florida. Donald Trump owns an outrageously luxurious property there.
The room where he gives his lecture, a stone’s throw from his home, is extravagantly furnished, a bit like a flashy Versailles. Moldings, gilding, opulent colonnades and superb mirrors… Everything exudes an imitation, albeit crude, of the great French style. No wonder since most francophile American president since the time of Richard Nixon.
In the center, Donald Trump takes his place in front of a wall of starry flags. Fans chant: “USA! WE! “. On the desk the only name of him, which has become a commercial and political trademark:“ TRUMP ”. There is almost no need for a slogan anymore. However, he very quickly revives his historic mantra; slightly modified all the same: Make America great and glorious again “. (Give America back its greatness and glory).
Internet users chuckle: Will the Trump team market “MAGAGA” caps? The tycoon no longer spares his effects…” The American Return Leave now! To make America great and glorious again, I announce tonight my candidacy for the presidency of the United States! “.
He wants to thwart America’s decline
The former president continues his argument seriously: “Less than three years ago, our nation was at the height of its power, prosperity and prestige, dominating all its rivals, triumphing over all its enemies and advancing farsighted, confident and strong. But now we are a nation in decline, a bankrupt country… The past two years under Joe Biden have been a time of heartbreak, hardship, anxiety and despair. Inflation is the highest in over 50 years, the price of petrol has reached the highest levels in history. Our southern border no longer exists and our country is overrun by millions and millions of foreigners, many of whom enter with sinister intentions. »
Trump clarifies the point: “The United States has been embarrassed, humiliated and undermined. The disaster in Afghanistan was the most embarrassing moment in our country’s history, and Ukraine, which would never have happened if I was your president ! “.
Spotlight on Biden
In the crosshairs: Joseph Robinette Biden, the current president, who triumphed over him in the last election. “I will make sure Joe Biden does not benefit from four additional years. Our country could not stand it. And I don’t say it laughing, I say it crying. Our country cannot bear everything. Together, we will face the most corrupt forces and entrenched interests imaginable. »
Trump unexpectedly comes out of the divider posture and proposes national unity: “It is not the task of a classic politician or candidate. It is a task for a great movement that embodies the courage, confidence and spirit of the American people…for tens of millions of proud people working together across the country and from all walks of life, young and old, white and Black, Hispanic and Asian. You can no longer be silent. »
His response to criticism
Obviously, Donald Trump has a headwind today. His relatives, imposed on the Republican Party, were defeated, for the most part, during the midterm elections. Though weakened by his mental health, Joe Biden has come out fairly victorious in this interim ballot and may approach the 2024 presidential election with unanimous support from the Democratic camp.
Trump has believed in his since childhood little Star. She greeted him several times. He concludes his candidacy speech: “This is not a campaign. It’s a quest to save our country. I need your voices… If our movement succeeds, we will defeat the forces of tyranny. The golden age is at hand and we will restore America’s wealth, power, pride, security, glory and greatness! » An air of soulful music sounds. From Al Green. For once Melania smiles.